The Mind of a Child -vs.- the Mind of an Adult

I have met quite a few adolescents and adults who have been homeschooled. I have met few home-educated individuals with the level of social maturity found in kids educated in a public or private school system. Perhaps David was socially lagging as well, and therefore had not progressed to the point of understanding the difference between fantasy and reality. I am not excusing his actions, as I believe it should be obvious to anyone that murder is wrong, even to a child. Perhaps this lack of maturity also contributed to David's view that a sexual relationship and erotic photography with a fourteen year old child was acceptable.

Home school groups are often used to promote social interaction and pooled educational resources. There are seventeen of these homeschooling groups in Lancaster. There is some merit to the idea that through home schooling, social and religious groups can isolate their children from certain external influences, but it is also wise to remember that there will be some important social skills lost as well. According to one home schooling mother in the community,

"What makes this so difficult to understand is that these children were somewhat sheltered from drugs and all that and yet they got into this.

"It will make all of us take a second look," she said. "We're just assuming that we're home-schooling and our kids are OK, and now this. They're not all OK."

The same article, from the Baltimore Sun, states, "Many parents also say they turned to home-schooling to incorporate their Christian faith into their children's lessons. And some said they hoped home-schooling would keep their children from the cliques, bullying, drugs and violence that poison the environment of some public school districts."

I believe that David is still a child, an eighteen year old child who has not learned to control his impulses, who has not learned the difference between fantasy and reality, that has not learned communication skills as an alternative to violence. Is some of this failure to mature because he was too sheltered?

There's a saying- "Just because you're in the hen house doesn't make you a chicken." I think that certainly fits in this case. Just because David is a Christian, does not mean his actions are Christian. There was some talk at CrimeLibrary.com about a possible history of David using his knowledge of Christianity and scripture to manipulate female teens in his relationships with them. Also, just because David was in home school, does not mean he was naeive about the "ways of the world". He showed this in his many postings on the internet, and in his relationships.

It is also true, that just because he was home-schooled, did not mean he was protected from negative influences.

There are elements of both good and bad in public schools and in home schools. There are also good kids, and bad kids, in both environments. The idea is to avoid what Danah Boyd refers to as a Culture of Fear. (Danah also writes on the online culture and how teens have recreated a social scene online through blogging sites such as LiveJournal, Xanga, MySpace, and others.) David is one of those bad kids that believed he could kill and get away with it. He also knew, according to statements he made on videos found in his home, that his sexual relationship with Ms. Borden was statutory rape, yet he continued with the relationship, even killing to maintain it.

Devil music, "Goth Culture", and violent video games did not make David into a killer. At the moment, few people, if any, know what did. He had obviously been raised with Christian influences, and MOST Christian teens will go through a rebellious phase as they enter adulthood and establish their independence, but murder is not within that spectrum. Some will say that the culture of guns played a role in this crime, but it is not the guns that raised David, nor were the guns the ones that taught him the value of a human life. There are plenty of families in America that understand that hunting is a way of reducing animal populations to sustainable levels, and of providing food for families, and that gun ownership for protection is a right protected by the US Constitution. These same families are fully expected to prevent access to firearms by irresponsible users, to teach respect for the power the gun has to take, and to save, lives, and the value of life itself.

In article after article, I see David's mother mentioned, and I have no doubt she has done her best to raise David. I have not seen one statement made by David's father, and I wonder about his role in all of this. What made David a killer, one who would not be told NO, is yet to be discovered.

A person can spend all day long with a teen, teaching them, correcting them, and modeling behavior for them. Sometimes what the teen really needs is someone to listen to them, and to really know what makes them tick. This could have possibly put David into some counseling, instead of prison.

In defense of Kara's now-deceased parents, they knew that Kara's increasing use of the internet and her relationship with David were destructive. They had made several efforts to stop the relationship and her increasing time online. They are not to blame, but to be mourned, as loving and concerned parents, who were obviously doing their best to raise their children.

One suggestion I would make is that computers NEVER be placed in a child's room, but rather they should be placed where they are in the open, so teens are less likely to participate in risky behaviors. Teach them about safety, and about limiting the amount of personal information they share. Warn them about talking to strangers, and KNOW who their friends are. Set limits and enforce them.