May 2006 Archives

I was just surfing around today and came across one young lady's ideas on protecting herself. Sounds like a smart girl!

I have to admit, I am a sucker for Dr. Phil. I know, I have heard all the negative things said about him, but I have tremendous respect for his ability to confront people and assign blame fairly and honestly. I also admire him for bringing abusers and victims alike on the air and sharing their point of view, while not inciting the crowd to hate the accused.

Last night there was a special episode where one womans flight from her home was covered. The episode went from the planning stage, through the actual packing and running, and ultimately, to the place where she found a safe place to get back on her feet. ( House of Ruth ) There are organizations such as House of Ruth in most major cities.

The husband was confronted with the accusations, and it was a familiar thing to see someone who had done terrible things shift blame to everyone around them. I believe that Dr. Phil got through to the man, who was apparently attending some pretty heavy duty anger management therapy. I think he may have seen some thngs he was willing to accept responsibility for, but most of it was just "I was a victim too, these things weren't my fault."

My man, Dr. Phil, summed it up in the right way. Whatever had happened in the man's life, he was not equipped with the right tools to communicate his feelings to anyone he cared about, and until he WAS properly equipped with communcations skills, he was not capable of having a relationship with anyone.

Dr. Phil repeated to the survivor, over and over, "It's not your fault." He reminded her that kids have the unfailing ability to blame themselves for any problem that happens in their family. He's right. I have seen that first hand.
I believe the woman eventually accepted that it REALLY wasn't her fault. And she started healing.

God Bless her and all those who endure domestic violence. If you are suffering from domestic violence, you CAN get help. If you are being physically or sexually or verbally abused, these things can hurt you and your children. Your abuser may blame you for his or her behavior, or say, "You just know how to make me angry."

Remember, until they get the proper tools to communicate, things are not going to change. I encourage you to get help.

Marlie Casseus has been discussed before here on Voiceless Victims. She is a 14 years old, and up until January of this year, she had a 9 to 16 lb. tumor that took up much of her face.

In February, Marlie went through the second of a series of surgeries, and , although she appears to have a way to go, she looks much more comfortable.

See more information at MSNBC on Marlie Casseus.

Excerpts:
“Today I look at her and I see the face I remember from her as a little girl,” Marlie’s mother, Maleine Antoine, said through an interpreter.

Postoperative photos showed Marlie, though still swollen from surgery, with a more clearly defined nose, mouth and jawline.

Marlie needs at least two additional reconstructive surgeries to re-center her widely set eyes and reconstruct her nasal bridge, as well as teeth implants, Gomez said.

The Haitian nonprofit Good Samaritan for a Better Life helped bring her to the United States in September. The doctors have donated their time.

The hospital’s International Kids Fund, which seeks to provide medical care for needy children from around the world, is asking for donations to continue Marlie’s care.

It's been a while since I was here. A lot has happened in the last six months. SO much, I don't even know where to begin. In the mean time, there have been abductions, murders, rapes...
It seems like such a messed up world sometimes. I am a Christian, and I grew up learning about the evil people in the world, and how things would have to get worse before they got better.
As a kid I guess you just don't understand what all of that means.

Meanwhile, Wallace Richards is still missing. He really struck a chord with me, and I really care about him and want to see him come home. I want to see his family know where he has been. I want them to have the peace of knowing their son, their brother, their friend, is okay. I keep praying for his safe return.

In another time zone, we have the victims of Katrina. I was fortunate enough to sit through a presentation by the New Orleans Superintendent of Police, Warren Riley. He seems like a sincere enough guy. I really liked the presentation that he and the Deputy Superintendent Anthony Cannatella gave. It seems like the media was a bit harsh on the police department overall. Yes, they did "procure" some Cadillacs and some Chevrolets, but it was in order to help people. Yes, 91 or 97 officers left their posts, but 91% of the officers remained in New Orleans, through the storm, and now, six months later they remain. On DUTY. WITHOUT their families, many of them without their homes. They still live in hotel rooms and shelters, yet they are heroic for not leaving, even though many of them have sent their families to other cities to continue school and jobs. I heard story after story about officers who went WAY beyond the call of duty, and I was ashamed for the opinion I had about the overall department.

I will be updating regularly again. I apologize for the long silence. Wallace Richards and Family, we think about you daily, even when I don't write.