Recently in Survivors Category
As I mentioned in the last entry, there are several changes coming to this website. First, we are going to commit to a regular schedule. Second, we are going to focus on the mission of the site, which is:
Giving a voice to victims, and helping their loved ones cope.
I have always had a soft spot in my heart for kids, but victims exist in every age category, in every race, in every socioeconomic category. The media seems to focus on the beautiful, and often there is a greater focus on young blonde white girls. I may give them some coverage, but i don't want to do so at the expense of any other child. In America, all are supposed to be equal. That's our policy here on Voiceless Victims.
I have had a lot of searches on psychological profiles, and so I want to give a series of checklists on identifying victims AND predators. Some lists I see include:
- How to recognize a child who has been abused.
- How to recognize a potential child molester.
- What to do if someone you know has been molested.
- What to do if someone you love is missing.
- How to identify some personality disorders.
Other things that I think are important including letting victims tell how they have overcome abuse, and explaining how forensic evidence has given a voice to those who could not tell.
I welcome any comments and suggestions, and I hope that we can, at some point, get involved in advocacy.
Our friend Marlie Casseus of Haiti said her first words in SIX YEARS yesterday! She has had 4 surgeries, and requires 2 more, but she is now able to eat, drink, and to speak! God Bless Marlie and the International Kids Fund!
"Thank you."
Marlie's Mom also was very thankful.
I have to admit, I am a sucker for Dr. Phil. I know, I have heard all the negative things said about him, but I have tremendous respect for his ability to confront people and assign blame fairly and honestly. I also admire him for bringing abusers and victims alike on the air and sharing their point of view, while not inciting the crowd to hate the accused.
Last night there was a special episode where one womans flight from her home was covered. The episode went from the planning stage, through the actual packing and running, and ultimately, to the place where she found a safe place to get back on her feet. ( House of Ruth ) There are organizations such as House of Ruth in most major cities.
The husband was confronted with the accusations, and it was a familiar thing to see someone who had done terrible things shift blame to everyone around them. I believe that Dr. Phil got through to the man, who was apparently attending some pretty heavy duty anger management therapy. I think he may have seen some thngs he was willing to accept responsibility for, but most of it was just "I was a victim too, these things weren't my fault."
My man, Dr. Phil, summed it up in the right way. Whatever had happened in the man's life, he was not equipped with the right tools to communicate his feelings to anyone he cared about, and until he WAS properly equipped with communcations skills, he was not capable of having a relationship with anyone.
Dr. Phil repeated to the survivor, over and over, "It's not your fault." He reminded her that kids have the unfailing ability to blame themselves for any problem that happens in their family. He's right. I have seen that first hand.
I believe the woman eventually accepted that it REALLY wasn't her fault. And she started healing.
God Bless her and all those who endure domestic violence. If you are suffering from domestic violence, you CAN get help. If you are being physically or sexually or verbally abused, these things can hurt you and your children. Your abuser may blame you for his or her behavior, or say, "You just know how to make me angry."
Remember, until they get the proper tools to communicate, things are not going to change. I encourage you to get help.
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. http://www.rainn.org/
US Department of Justice Domestic Violence Website
SafeHorizon: Moving Victims of Violence from Crisis to Confidence
Toolkit to End Violence Against Women
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
Contact Voiceless Victims